We have an almost 13 month old! How did this happen? If I could stop time dead in it's tracks and keep Judah little forever, I would. It is the absolute truth that "they grow up way too fast," and even more so that there's nothing you can do about it.
As a mommy I enjoy watching Judah explore, self-talk, be creative. He's such a fun kid! He loves playing outside, discovering "new" plants and flowers, watching the birds fly by, hearing dogs bark (He loves dogs. To Judah, all dogs are "pup pup.") watching cars go by. He's so adventurous. It warms my heart to see him "jump right in." He doesn't want to miss out, quite like his Mom.
In this past year, he has taught me so much about the love of Jesus. I look at him and long for only good for his life. I want "immeasurably more" for him. When he's tired and can't calm down, I don't yell but gently try to settle him. My love for Judah is endless and grows deeper and deeper every single moment.
I imagine Jesus wanting "good" for me. I see Him seated at the right hand of the Father saying, "It is finished, child. Rest in me. Take My yoke upon you, for I am meek and lowly. Surrender to my goodness. Take full advantage of my gift of grace, of peace. Take heart, for I have overcome the world, and I live in you. Come abide in me. Just be with me. I am forever yours. Let everything else fall away."
Daily I surrender to His mercy. Daily I ask for enough grace to make it through each moment. Yes, this year has been a roller coaster for our family (As most of you know, my Father-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in January.) and I have to continually remind myself that Jesus knows. He knows the tears I've shed. He knows the days and nights Luke and I have just held each other, sobbing, feeling hopeless and helpless. He knows how we're feeling and feels right along with us, longing for the day when we will be with Him in glory, forever. "No more sorrow, no more shame, no more sickness, no more pain."
What a glorious transformation! What a beautiful reunion! As we claim our forever home with Jesus, face to face! My heart is overwhelmed with JOY when I grasp this unfathomable Truth! How deep is the Father's love for us!
Still, for now in this earthly state, in this fallen world we seek to know Himmore, to understand His heart, for enough grace to make it through each moment, until the day of our glorious union.
Jesus, grant us enough grace for each moment. Let us feel you more closely than ever, especially now. Show us how to rest in You, how to just "be" with You. Thank You for Your constant pursuit of my heart. Thank You that You never let go. Thank You for another day to be a Mommy, Wife, Daughter, and Friend.
Forever Yours,
Jen
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