I Have a Four-month Old Baby!

It's true what they say, "time flies." I can't believe we're here, that Judah is already four months old. It seems like only yesterday I was hand stitching his hot air balloon mobile that now hangs over his crib, patiently awaiting his arrival, dreaming up all the things I would say to him, the time we would spend snuggling together. It's so bittersweet.

So much changes in just four months! We went from a helpless little baby who wanted to nurse almost non-stop to a BIG boy who loves to kick his feet, hear himself babble and nurses every 3-4 hours. We never thought we would get him to take a pacifier, and now he does. We never thought he would go for more than 2 hours without screaming for food, and he does. We never thought he would sleep for more than 15 minutes in his crib, but he does! So many things have changed! 

And I guess I have changed too. Having Judah has changed me. I've calmed down a bit. I'm not exactly as frantic about having a clean house as before. I don't try to complete a million tasks in one day and all at the same time. He's taught me how much I simply need to sit and rest, to just be still...something God has been trying to get me to do all my life.

I treasure the times he smiles at me like I'm the funniest person in the whole world and also the times he falls asleep in my arms, just completely passed out and limp. It never gets old watching Luke pick him up and kiss him and play with him and rock him to sleep. Their connection is so beautiful and sweet. It just melts my heart.

Having a baby changes your whole world, and yes, not every part of it seems to be as "worth it" as they say. However, every part of it changes you, absolutely challenges you, and makes you so much stronger. I think of all the things I so desperately want for Judah: for him to know Jesus, to be in complete relationship with Him, to wait on his wife and never date until he finds her, to protect his little heart and his mind from this world, to be confident in himself and his true identity in Jesus, to know what true, deep, gut-wrenching love is like. I pray all of these things over my sweet boy.

My heart is grateful for every moment I have had with my sweet Judah-bug. I love him more than life, more than myself, more than I could ever find the words to really express. His presence is such a blessing to me, his smile, his little dimple in his right cheek, his big eyes, his little nose and mouth...his hands and feet. I love him unconditionally and more with every passing day.

Having a baby changes you and keeps changing you. I'm challenged by the changes and welcome them.

Thank you, Jesus, for my sweet baby Judah.