Little Baby Judah

 Baby Judah: Our Little Prince

I'm finally getting around to writing down Judah's birth. Wow! There are so many elements to this story, but I ultimately decided I would just like to keep this simple, so here it goes!

First, I'd like to give you a little bit of the history of my pregnancy so this story might make a little bit more sense to you. I had a slightly difficult pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I was super healthy, able to exercise the entire pregnancy, and never put on bed rest. Still, I had TERRIBLE morning sickness throughout the pregnancy, swelling, insomnia, horrible round ligament pain, hair loss, back pain, headaches, acid reflux, low iron, and low platelets. I feel like this list could go on, and it probably could, but we'll just stop there.

Because of the low iron and low platelets, I had to see a hematologist weekly to have blood drawn. I began receiving IV iron infusions about two months before Judah arrived and was ultimately put on steroids to increase my platelet count, which gave me even worse insomnia and headaches, as well as terrible night sweats and nightmares. Yeah, I was definitely NOT happy about taking the steroids but did so (sparingly) after being scared into taking them (I was told I would definitely hemorrhage during the birth if I did not take them and my platelet levels did not climb). I worried about how they would affect Judah every day, and so I prayed they would not hurt him and that God would just take control of the entire situation. He surely did. He has always planned immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine. He wasn't going to let me hemorrhage. I believed that with my whole heart. 

Having low platelets, running a risk of hemorrhaging, also meant that I did not qualify for an epidural. Normal platelet levels for a pregnant mommy are supposed to be 120 and higher. I was told I could not have an epidural if my levels were under 100. Throughout my pregnancy, my levels continued to fall. They went from 91 to 69, and the day of Judah's birth, they were 57 (even after taking the steroids). 

Since I had researched natural births, talked with other mommies who had successfully birthed their babies naturally, and just felt a strong calling to deliver naturally, I decided I didn't want an epidural anyway. I had an epidural in 2010 with a hip surgery I had and a spinal tap the following year in 2011 with a follow up hip surgery. I had experienced plenty of complications after surgery from the epidural and spinal tap, and I just didn't want to go through those again. I also didn't want to risk labor slowing down or Judah having complications from being heavily medicated during labor. I knew there was a possibility that an epidural could interfere with Judah breast feeding, and I just didn't even want to mess with that.

Monday morning around 5:00 am I began having contractions. I didn't quite want to wake Luke because I just wasn't sure if they were the "real deal" at that point. I started timing them, and woke Luke up just as his alarm was going off for work. It was 6:30 am, and I told Luke I was having strong contractions regularly. We decided to keep timing them as I made my way to the bathroom to take a bath, to see if the warm water would help. I continued to have contractions in the tub, and so we decided to call my midwife. She suggested that we come in. We told her that we would like to labor more at home before coming in, and she was totally fine with that.

As the morning progressed, contractions progressed too. I began to try everything I knew to help ease the pains of labor and to keep myself calm. I tried sitting on an exercise ball, walking around the house, breathing deeply, using heating pads on my low back and tummy, and using an ice pack on my low back and tummy. All of these things seemed to really help, especially the heat and the ice.

My contractions seemed to be picking up fast, so we decided to pack up the car and head in as soon as we could. I knew it wasn't going to be much longer with the way I was feeling. We made it to the hospital around 10:10 and to triage at 10:30. My nurse began to monitor Judah as well as my contractions. Then, I was checked around 11:00 am and told I had only dilated to 2cm. I could NOT believe it. I was so frustrated with that answer, because the pain I was experiencing was so intense. I thought I should have at the very least been a five. I was told my midwife would be by to check me around 12:00 pm. I spent an hour laboring in triage which was a very intense hour for me. During this hour, I started to abandon all my previous thoughts about natural birth. I had heard so many stories about how women just hit this point and say, "Forget it. I can't take this pain anymore. Please give me something." I was hitting that point. The pain was more than I felt I could bear, and I just wanted something to take the edge off. My nurse asked me if I wanted morphine, and I told her yes. She left the room to get it for me, and I felt a strong need to go to the restroom, so I did. I spent a good while in there and labored while sitting on the toilet.

I decided to go back in the room, and when I did, my midwife arrived to check me. At that point, I was so distracted, I had almost forgotten about the pain medication I had asked for. Apparently, my nurse had forgotten, because I never saw her again. I was checked and told that I was a "good 3 cm dilated." Wow. I still couldn't believe it. Everything I felt was just so intense. I didn't know if I was going to make it. I started to get a bit nervous, but my midwife stayed super calm and collected and told me that a room was ready for me. She walked me over to my room, and gave me a birthing ball to sit on. She and my new nurse began to prepare my birthing tub. I spent awhile laboring through some very intense labor pains on the birthing ball while my husband rubbed my lower back. I was feeling most of my contractions there, and as long as there was pressure on my lower back, I could get through them. Eventually, those contractions picked up, and I felt like it took everything in me to just get through the next one.

It was finally time for me to get in the birthing tub, and I was so excited for a change. The water was extremely warm, and it helped to take the edge off of the pain. I was sweating like crazy. My husband continued to rub my low back through contractions as my midwife kept me calm and breathing. Let me just say that I never would have made it through those contractions without my midwife and husband. Seriously, they were absolutely incredible and kept me focused and grounded even when I thought I was going out of my mind.

 Around 2:00 pm my midwife wanted to check me again. I had just gone through an hour of VERY intense labor, and I knew I had dilated further. She checked, and I had dilated to 8 cm. I was thinking, "Thank You, God!! He's almost here!!" She told me to move from my bottom to an all fours position, so I did. She also put a stool in the tub that I was able to bear down on and push on. I began swaying from side to side, just breathing and trying to relax every muscle in my body for the next contraction. It took every piece of me to get through each contraction.

Finally, I felt my water begin to break, and I can remember saying, "I think my water just broke." My midwife confirmed it and decided she wanted me to get through a few more contractions before she checked me again. (Oh, I almost forgot. Judah was monitored intermittently while I was in the tub. It was so nice to be able to get in the water and not be confined to a bed! I was so thankful for that little device!) This time, my midwife told me to flip over on my back again. I did, and she checked me and said I was at 9 cm and that Judah's head was really low. She began pushing my cervix out of the way, because the lips of my cervix just didn't want to move on their own.She told me to get back on all fours when I began to have this overwhelming urge to push. I told her I felt like he was coming out. I specifically remember yelling out, "He's coming out! I'm serious!"  She and my husband laughed at me as I began to push as hard as I could in the tub.

A little side note about pushing: I always thought pushing was this thing you did when they told you it was time. It was just something you had to do to get the baby out. With me, it felt so different when the time came around to push. My body just felt as though I HAD to push. There was no other choice. If I didn't push Judah out, it was going to push Judah out for me.

Let me tell you. I am not the loud, screaming in pain type of person. However, sounds came out of my mouth I didn't know I could make. Yes, I screamed. I screamed A LOT. Yes, it hurt. It hurt, A LOT. A lot more than I ever could have imagined. A lot more than anything else I ever could have experienced. It was INTENSE. Extremely INTENSE.

But I did it.

When my body began to take over and I just felt I had to push, my midwife finally told me to get out of the tub and make my way over to the bed. She knew Judah was coming any time. I got in the bed, and my nurse pulled down these handles for me to bear down on. Oh, I loved those things. My midwife told me that Judah's head was right there, and I was about to have a baby. She prepped my husband and told him how to catch Judah. That was something we both wanted him to experience.

Finally, the time had come. She told me with a few more pushes, Judah would be out. Those pushes were so intense, and then I knew something wasn't quite right. She looked at me and said, "Jennifer, your perineum is tight. I know it's in your birth plan that you do not want one, and we talked about it, but I think you need an Episiotomy." I couldn't believe it. I was terrified of having to have an episiotomy. I asked her how big it would be and she said, "I will be as conservative as possible. You are going to tear anyway, and so I think this is the best and safest bet. If I do this now, Judah will be out with your next push." I looked at Luke, and he looked at me. Together we both said, "Okay. Let's do it." My midwife did the episiotomy and then told me to push. I pushed twice, and Judah was there.

My sweet little Judah was born at 3:24 pm on February 24, 2014, just shy of 5 hours after arriving at the hospital. He was beautiful. He was perfect. I couldn't believe he was mine. I began to cry immediately when Luke laid him on my chest, and I said, "Judah! Hi baby!" But, wow. I had screamed so much, I lost my voice. Actually, it took days for me to get my voice back after screaming so much.

I delivered the placenta just a few minutes after Judah, which was a piece of cake. What was NOT was all the pressing on my uterus after birth. Wow. Not fun at all. Next, my midwife began to stitch up my episiotomy while Luke and I spent time just loving on Judah, trying to get him to breast feed. It was a bit difficult at first, but he learned pretty quickly and had a pretty decent latch. I just loved looking at him. Luke helped the nurse give Judah his first bath while I spent time in bed recovering. It was all so special and happening so fast!

Looking back now, I can't BELIEVE I had a natural birth. I can't believe I made it through. I prayed so hard for it, and God came through. It was all Him. There is no way I could have done ANY of that on my own strength. In my weakness He remained strong. Judah came into this world without any medications pumping through his body, alert and ready to feed, and I was able to take care of him, to move around my room, to get up and shower if I wanted. It was so nice. The episiotomy was NOT part of my plan, but God brought me to it and through it, and I know that even though natural birth was SO hard and painful, I CAN do it. I DID IT!!!

So, my advice to those who are on the fence about natural birth is: Do what you feel in your heart. Do it, because you can. You're strong even at your weakest moments, especially then. Rely on God to carry you through the pain, not yourself. I know it's possible because I did it. I did it WITHOUT hemorrhaging, even when all the odds were not in my favor. If I can do it, ANYONE can. Pray for strength and favor, and you will receive it. I believe that with all my heart.

Our little Judah is growing and thriving and is now almost 6 weeks old! Whoa!!! He continues to challenge us daily and nightly with his crazy schedule at this point. We had NO IDEA parenting would be this hard, but we love him so immeasurably that we can't imagine loving him more. He is such a blessing to us! He's starting to smile, and that is such a JOY after so much crying. We are beyond excited for him to sleep through the night soon and to hear him laugh!

 Thank you all for investing in our lives, for taking the time to read our story, for loving us and Judah so well. We love you too and couldn't have accomplished any of this without you. Your prayers for us meant the WORLD to us, and we know that God listened and answered! THANK YOU!!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow for His sweet goodness and our sweet, sweet baby Judah!!

The Dunnewolds